A Rose is Still a Rose

by LaShanda Pitts
8 comments 36 views

I read with interest this past week that Prince Harry and his beautiful bride Meghan will no longer be known as “royal highnesses.”  My first thought was that while it may be difficult to adjust to not being known as something you’re used to being called (especially in Prince Harry’s case), it’s a step in the right direction in their plan to step away from life with the royal family.  Seemingly never one to conform to societal norms since he was a youngster, this is probably right up Prince Harry’s alley.

I began to think about the many titles we gain and lose in our lives and how the change in status can affect our lifestyles.  For instance, when a woman gets a divorce, she is no longer a “Mrs.” – and losing the title may symbolize a desired freedom.  For other women, it may be the beginning of a long hard adjustment not being known as Mrs. “___” anymore.  Even if you want the divorce, it’s difficult to adjust to not being a Mrs. after a number of years.  In my case, I got married the first time at age 24, was married for about 10 years, divorced, got married again at age 39, and divorced 13 years later.  I’ve been a Mrs. half of my existence, and each time I lost my title, I was thrust into a situation where I had to renew myself.  No doubt a big adjustment; yet growth as well.

Whether or not the situation is planned, now is the time to forge a new life, and such is the case with Harry and Meghan.  No matter what title you hold, no matter how many degrees you’ve earned or how many movies you’ve starred in – you are still you.  A title doesn’t define who the Divine Creator formed you to be.  Nor does it define your character, integrity, level of self-esteem and so on – you are still you.  The growth in losing a title or status comes in because you don’t have it to hide behind anymore.  The ego is being challenged and you are forced to face the new you, in whatever capacity it comes. The same can be said for a title you gain or currently hold – it acknowledges recognition for your accomplishment – but it does not designate who you are at your core.

As Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  You could call a rose a potato…but won’t it still be a fragrant little spud?  It matters not whether Harry and Meghan – or you or me – are known by certain titles.  What matters is the genuineness of our hearts and that we acknowledge and know who we are.

 

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Mecca Mitchell

Great observation! Yes, I understand the adjustment that it takes to sort of recreate yourself once you have lost a “title” you have had most of your life, in this case for Prince Harry it has been all of his life. I was married the first time for about 4 years, got divorced and had to change my name back to my maiden name. The second time I got married I contemplated not changing my name again…but went ahead and did it. 6 years later I’m at the DMV and all other relevant offices changing my name BACK to my… Read more »

Janice Campbell

Thanks again for this awesome article it really shedded light on a few life situations personally and it has me thinking on how we think titles sometimes define us and it’s truly our character that our family and friends see us.

Bettye Burney

Great read again Janine. Being our own authentic self is much what I believe. Titles come and go, but it’s who you are from the inside that resonates, something that doesn’t require an explanation of who you really are but extends from the values you possess that captures the audience.

Issatou Fall

Great read! What a great observation. I 100 % agree with the article. You can get lost in a title extremely quick. I applaud Harry and Meghan for taking this leap of faith. I believe it took strength for him to walk away from the thing he only has known. But to be authentic can be scary and can scare everyone around. That doesn’t mean not to do it. In the end, Harry & Meghan will live the life of their choice. The title says nothing if you’re not happy at the end of the day. Sometimes we humans will… Read more »

Alecia Baker

Thank you for being so transparent! Your articles always shed light on things that we all go threw. A title is just that a title, when it’s lost or another is gained your still the same person inside and out! Keep up the great work.

Janice

I have always believed in every situation people react differently and that’s okay because we are all different and how I react versus someone should not be looked at if either is wrong. We don’t know everyone’s story.

Monique Latta

This hits home for me in so many ways. A few years back I made the decision to move into a new role, and with that move, I would be going from having direct reports, to being an individual contributor. After being unhappy in my role for over several years, finally mustering up the courage to make the move was thrilling for me and the last thing on my mind was the fact that I would loose my “Manager” title in the process. That is, until someone else pointed it out to me and was sure to also call out… Read more »

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