How to Handle Feeling “Not Good Enough”

by LaShanda Pitts
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Today I’m going to talk about how to handle the negative emotions around not feeling good enough in some way, and subsequent behaviors that stem from this core belief. Feeling not good enough is part of being human; everyone has this belief to some degree. Also, we tend to see negative emotions in a bad light because they make us feel uncomfortable, but these emotions can serve as signs that we are holding a belief that we aren’t good enough in some way, and taking a moment to pause and look at that belief is the first step toward healing. So, the negative emotion is actually a gift. I’m at a point in my life where I’m able to realize that when I get triggered, it’s more about me than the other person.

If you think about it, if you had a sense of being just fine as you are, the opinion of others would not matter. They would just pass right on by you and not cause a trigger within you. Needing to be right all the time would not be such an important thing to accomplish. The core belief of not enough may even make you violent and allow the outside world to have more power over you than it needs to have. If you think you’re not good enough, you are compelled to get, have, look like a certain version of happiness or success or beauty. We need these external things because internally there’s a sense of not good enough and that can translate into an aggressive desire to go after something in order to feel okay about yourself.

Also, if you perceive yourself as not good enough, as soon as someone makes a comment about you that is less than positive, especially if they are negating something you worked very hard on, it will feel like an attack because you’re already shaky on the inside. The other person may just be expressing a neutral opinion, but if you have the core belief you’re not good enough, it will hit you in a way that is irrational and you can feel attacked a lot of the time. Sometimes the other person wants to insult you, but the truth is that their insult is coming from their internal belief that they are not enough, so they may feel threatened by you and feel the need to cut you down. This back and forth attack happens all the time in our world today because everyone comes at everyone from this place of lack.

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“How to Handle Feeling ‘Not Good Enough'”  

Written by:
Elizabeth E.
Eat Pray Love Fit



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Bettye Burney

O wow, what a read. I gleaned so much from this article. External meets internal actions is my way of filtering this. I have triggers of disagreement to help me grow since reading this article where I saw myself. I have to take responsibility that what makes sense to one doesn’t have to make sense to another. I’m taking responsibility for ME. I love the statement to react like a flowing Tai Chi movement – let it flow, gather the wisdom imparted and move on. Thanks for the article in knowing how to ‘handle feeling not good enough’.


This is a great article and really made me think about some things. I guess we all tend to second guess ourselves and question ourselves more than we should. I know I do. I know that recognizing triggers and self talk helps me a lot. We can only control so much in our lives. It’s about how we react and having an attitude of confidence that can make such a difference.

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